How to make the best out of the worst possible.

For those of you who were expecting for this to be a long, self explanatory, life changing, mind revolving, enlightening post that was going to change your life, I apologize in advance. It won't change anything. Just state what there already is.

So the answer is... When everything goes wrong, make things worse. It kinda overturns life's plans. And if it doesn't, hey, you already said that things can't get any worse, right? So what is there left to lose anyway?

P.S. It gets really frustrating not being able to upload my own post photos...

Deep Ocean Vast Sea

Nathan: Let's just get this over with.
Peyton: Funny, that's what he used to say before we had sex.

---

There's not enough time in this world to waste it by throwing words into the ocean.




For someone special.

A cup of coffee and a fake smile to go, please.

S: Dormi?
H: Nu inca. Da' tu n-ai somn, ma?
S: Nu... Sunt lunatica, emo si deprimata. Ma invart printre bloguri, teste si plug-in-uri pentru Firefox. Si am chef sa ma plimb cu tine prin parc. Si sa te tin strans de mana. Si sa fie cald, si sa facem dragoste in curtea din spate a casei noastre de la mare, pe o patura spalata cu Cocolino. Vezi, ti-am zis ca sunt lunatica.

"It's so cold around me
I hurry to the next stop
I'm waiting, for something
For someone, to steer me back to my life
Steer me back to my life

My world is turning too fast
And I can't get off this spin
I'm moving somewhere I don't want
But all I do is fake a smile

When will I break
When does the ice break
When will I dare to press rewind and start all over"

---

Ma dezgusta lumea plastica si falsa in care traim. Si asta e tot ce am sa spun. Refuz sa ma obosesc sa detaliez.

---

Uneori lucrurile care sunt intr-un fel ar trebui sa fie altfel, si totusi la fel in acelasi timp. Si desi nimic nu are sens, si lucruile care ar trebui sa existe intr-o poveste sunt aruncate in alta, mereu o sa existe vreo carte in care sa ne gasim replici pentru dialogurile destepte, sau - daca nu, macar una prafuita prin care sa ne notam lucrurile care nu au mai avut loc in cartile carora le apartineau de fapt.
Si asa ma trezesc in fiecare dimineata multumindu-le lui Dumnezeu si celor de la Microsoft si Adobe si Apple (si probabil ca ar mai fi cativa) pentru minunile create de fiecare in parte, pentru zambetele de plastic, editoarele de text, mintile crete, sufletele pierdute, iPhone-uri, creativitate, naivitate, lacrimi, minciuni, putere, stapanire de sine si internet - in no particular order.
Si adorm purtand un zambet modelat suav in Corel, fredonand o melodie pe care o ascult la radioul vechi din bucatarie al bunicului. Si uneori visez la acele perioade din zi si/sau din noapte care imi arata ca fiecare sacrificiu in parte merita.

Somn usor.

Everything for free...

“I don’t know who you are…”

There are moments in your life when you just want to die.

.
“But you seem very nice…”

The pain is so immense that you don’t even want it to go away anymore.

.
“So will you talk to me?”

Because you know that there’s no way for it to ever disappear.

.

“Shall I tell you a story?”
No way to ever forget it.
.

“Should I tell you a dream?”

And the worst part is that…

.

“They think I’m crazy…”
… you are all alone when this happens.
.

“But they don’t know that I like it here…”
Truth be told, we all end up alone in moments like these.
.

“It’s nice in here…”

And we eventually accept it.

.

“I get everything for free…”
Most of the times, we accept it for someone else, though.
.

“Have you been here before?”

We make a sacrifice.

..

“Shall I show you around?”
Because, come to think of it…
.

“It’s very pretty…”

… it’s way easier to bear your own pain…

.

“Have you come here to stay?”
… than to see the one you love dealing with it all.
.

“Well, you sure picked a day…”

Way easier to walk away…

.

“My name is Billy…”
… than to stay and let the other one suffer.
.

“It's my birthday, you're invited to my party down the hall…”

Not easy.

.

“Where I go, what I'll become or who I am or what I'll be…”
Just easier…
.

“I’ll never know…”

Selfless, if you will…

.

“But I am sure that I’ll get everything for free…”

I ain't there just yet.

I don't know who I am
And I ain't there just yet
There's this light leading me
But my legs... - they won't follow.


I don't know who you are
And you're still far away
Your strength gives me hope
But I ain't there just yet.

Goodbye.

Tears falling from the sky

All those leaves sayin' "Goodbye!"

In a world of loneliness

Where's the dream of happiness?

Snowflakes cutting thick cold air

No one else is left to dare

Killing love was the last act

Now we all have to accept the fact

That remembering love songs

Is the last thing that belongs

In here, down here

In a nightmare of fear.

Tears pouring down the street

Made an ocean our last meet

But the pain from your dark eyes

That - I couldn't think it lies

It would talk about forever

About things you can remember

About you and me together

About lives becoming better

About lies that will end never

That was our last meeting ever.

Tears shaping your cold body

Couldn't it have been somebody

Else laying here in my arms

Keep you far from any harms

My tears wouldn't wash the blood

My regrets wouldn't cover the mud

Of death, a trip without an ending

But we all have to accept the bidding

A bet we lose and have to pay

Without asking why it has to be that way

We pay and close our eyes forever

Just hoping this and that will never

Turn out to be wrong ways to "better"

'Cause "Goodbye!" will be our ever.